BlockTales

I've just realised that I haven't put any text in the last four comics! Go back to Monday for the full story!

Greetings my little friendly friends! Because I'm amazing and stuff, I did a super length strip for Dave at Bricks of the Dead. Go check it out.

The Madness is finally over! I can do what I was on the weekends because this is the last part of...

The BlockTales That Never Was!

Part 6: The Disappointing Season Finale

Special effects definitely weren't TBTTNW!'s strongpoint.

We all find season finale's disappointing in some way. Sometimes even for the fact that there won't be more of your favourite show for another year. This isn't the case with this documentary, it's never coming back an it was never any good. Live with it.

Moving on...

This week, I'm going to show you my 3 handpicked episodes of OtherTales as well as show you the first and only strip of TBTTNW! ever made...

Bill Gates: The Comic Strip

Wow! Sales on LittleBigPlanet have really soared with the announcement of LittleBigPlanet 2!

I've really got to think of an idea fast!

Yes! I have an idea!

Signing the contract... And... Done!

Morale of the Story: All Microsoft's financial problems can be solved by another Halo game.

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The Worst of the Pirate Lords: Captain Why

Set Sail me harties!

There's kinda a problem Cap'n!

What is it Feelgood?

Isn't it obvious dumbass?

We aren't even at sea!

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Spongebob Squarepants Comics: A Day in the Life of Plankton

I shall take over the world!

Ow...

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It's over! See you never!

Wait, you want Set Reviews?

Part 5, almost bloody done, just one more next week and I'm free!

The BlockTales That Never Was!

Part 5: Does this remind you of anything?

TBTTNW! oozes with beautiful scenery.

If you are reading this, chances are, you are also a reader of the first ever fully fledged Lego webcomic (What a title...), Legostar Galactica. It never occurred to me at the age of eleven that maybe everyone does. That's how I somehow managed to spawn Sc-fiTales. The storyline was written down over many seasons, so it was a shame when I eventually canned TBTTNW! Now, 3 years later, the pilot of TBTTNWS!'s favourite son finally see's the light of day before it gets sued for plagiarism.

"My name is Admiral Marty Fyde, and The Alliance needs you! See this, the Starship Expertise Mk 5,"

"And it's captain, James T. Birk."

"Lieutenant Rudi J. Prentice,"

"Major Go T. E, Ensign Michael Bison, Ensign Joey Granger,"

"Chef B. Munch, Red Shirt, Medical Officer G. Lochs, Security Officer B. James, Engineering Officer S. Dovito,"

"Science Officer S. Guy,"

"T-BR-8,"

"T-NSR-2,"

"T-SD-1, T-SD-2, T-SD-3,"

"And their Chameleon Droid, Skippy."

"They have great work-spaces like the Bridge,"

"The Engineering Deck,"

"The Mess Deck,"

"The Sick Bay,"

"And the Space Knight training room."

"If you want a life of action and adventure, join the Alliance Navy!"

"Prepare for lift-off,"

...

"Say, Captain, why is this the Expertise Mk 5? What happened to the other four?"

"Well, the first one melted from the heat of the engines..."

"The second one couldn't take off from too little heat..."

"The third one fell over and wrecked the starport..."

"And the last one fell into a black hole caused by it's engines."

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That's all folks, tune in for the next edition, where we'll be looking at OtherTales and view the only episode of TBTTNW! ever made!

The abomination has been released! Fear the wrath of Bubba Ho-Tep

The BlockTales That Never Was!

Part 4: I can't believe nobody has done this before...

I can name at least 4 people in this picture who have been migrated to the current BlockTales...

19th May, 1999: The long awaited first prequel to Star Wars, The Phantom Menace, is released.

20th May, 1999: Prices in brain-bleach soar as the people try to rid themselves of Jar Jar Binks.

21st May, 1999: The Spring of Discontent begins as the last drop of the brain-bleach is used up.

Can you see where I'm going here? People don't like Jar Jar Binks except Comic Book Guy I've even see people burning Jar Jar Binkses. Basically, since the 19th May 1999, killing Jar Jar has been very popular as a hate figure. That's why the idea of him dying repeatedly made it into TBTTNW! Yes, and I have the first 5 episodes completely intact. Here they are.

Strip 1:

Jar Jar Binks says hello.

Jar Jar Binks sprouts a grey old robe.

Jar Jar Binks grows a beard.

That's meant to be a wheelchair by the way.

Jar Jar Binks dies of old age.

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Strip 2:

Jar Jar Binks is back again.

But the thingy of death quickly descends upon him.

He tries to run...

But there is no escaping the Overused Car of Doom.

Jar Jar Binks is crushed and a pair of legs makes it into the shot. Wasn't I professional...

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Strip 3:

Sigh... Jar Jar Binks is back...

He does what is meant to be walking but looks more like the moonwalk. Or maybe he's trying to turn his head.

Look. It's Norbert.

I remember this shot being really hard to do. God I sucked.

This was meant to be edited so that the dummy is engulfed in flame.

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Strip 4:

Horaay, it's Jar Jar Binks, waving his stupid little hand!

*Scream*

God, do you know how hard it is to pronounce asterisks? Anyway, Spontaneous Combustion.

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Strip 5:

Do you know what I go through for you, viewers?

"Hallo! Itsa atsa Guesta Starsa!" Oh god...

Basically, Jar Jar insults me for your viewing pleasure.

So he is erased from BlockWorld, which to be honest is a rather good way of ending a one off.

This time, he is meant to be a dummy.

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There, I didn't know how painful that would actually be, but hopefully next time we'll have something better, I just hope Dusan Jeftenija isn't watching...